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[May. 1st, 2006|02:07 am] |
My dad died on Tuesday and was buried on yesterday on Saturday.
People keep on telling me it'll get easier and the pain will ease but I don't believe them and for the most part they have no idea.
The thing that keeps running through my head is that he never got to see me graduate or go to prom.
I don't have a daddy to walk me down the aisle. |
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[Mar. 19th, 2006|12:23 am] |
Ok I hate my life once again because I left my phone at the Kauf's who I was babysitting for (or lost it. probably lost it, with my luck) and got a speeding ticket and my bond card expired 4 days ago and don't have a new one yet because my dad was in the hospital for, how long? oh yeah twenty three days.
awesome. |
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[Jan. 13th, 2006|06:23 pm] |
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I got into Marquette!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 12th, 2006|04:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Better Days - Goo Goo Dolls | ] |
I'm sooooo confused. What the hell am I doing with my life? Not life in the larger sense, life in the this summer and college sense. My biggest issues right now are where I'm to end up in college, and what am I doing this summer.
For college, my choices are (in no particular order):
1. U of Minnesota
2. Michigan State
3. U of Illinois - Urbana
4. Marquette
With the last two application status still pending.
For this summer my choices are:
1. Go to the UK to be a nanny for the summer
2. Return to North Ave
3. Transfer to Foster beach
4. Find a completely different job
Every single one of these options has basically an equal pro/cons list. I'm about 90% set on college decisions, thats actually the least of my worries. My summer is another issue completely.
On one hand, going to the UK would be awesome. I have a job offer there, but I'm feeling really pressured into making a set-in-stone decision as far as thats concerned. This is understandable, as my would-be employer really needs someone who would be comitted for sure; he would pay for my airfare, visa/documents, room/board, and then of course a weekly wage. The thing is, though, I don't know if I want to go. I don't know if I want to spend my last summer before college in a different country, in a place where I don't know anyone, where I'll be hanging out with a little kid all day, where I'm just not sure I want to be. I'm afraid that I'll miss out on kind of a lot, like Kirsten's baby, my friends, everything. I'm afraid of what I'll miss, essentially. It's a great opportunity for me though. I really should just talk to my mom about it, I think she'll be able to help me out the most. I don't necessarily want to never work at the beach ever again, too. That's a great job that pays so well, important for college, and its fun when theres no drama. Which brings me to the next issue: the drammmmmmmma. Oh, the drama. I don't want a repeat of last year. I don't know if Kim will be back at NAB or not, and that unfortunetaly is the deciding factor as far as where I'd work between NAB and Foster. Moreover, would Foster really be that much better? I don't know anybody there. I'm sure I'll still go to NAB parties and stuff, which guarantees running into Kim, which I need to avoid.
This is all so stressful! I just want someone to make all these decisions FOR me so I can relax and just deal with it, because any of the said options, really, would be alright. Its just a matter of putting up with it, right?
Thats all life ever really is, come to think of it.
AAAAAHHHHHHHH |
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